Why Guys Aren’t Attracted to You

A few weeks ago I published a post titled “Why Girls Aren’t Attracted to You” and surprisingly, it was a huge hit…..with all the women. When I originally wrote it, I thought I would get a little more of a response from all the men out there, but instead they chose to keep quiet. Now I can’t say that there weren’t any guys out there who read my post, because I’m sure (I hope) there were, but I thought that maybe flipping the tables a little bit would help all the humans out there with Y chromosomes engage just a little bit more (honestly, I’m probably expecting way too much from them; classic girl problems).

So here it is. Drum-roll please…….

WHY GUYS AREN’T ATTRACTED TO YOU !!!!!

Now, we can all assume at this point that I have no idea what the answer to this is. I mean, I have my theories of course, but at the end of the day my lack of male genetics pretty much makes it impossible for me to understand the male mind (I picture it like a sad little desert in there). Not only that, but I haven’t been in a long term relationship since…..ever. SO my expertise is clearly not helpful in this situation because I’m probably just doing everything wrong too.

So to overcome this issue, I enlisted the help of some of the oh so lovely guys in my own life. I asked them the simple question “Why would you not be attracted to a girl in a general OR relationship sense?” and here, my loving readers, is their response:

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any inappropriate words that may crop up in these responses, these are direct quotes.

Male 1, Age 23 –Lack of motivation. There’s nothing worse than having a female that just wants money but doesn’t work. Also smell. When guys see girls we think about a few things instantaneously, and smell is one of them. I guarantee you, if you are wearing just a hint of perfume, it could change the game.”

Male 2, Age 21 –“The first that comes to mind is past experiences, guys might not want to commit to a relationship due to previous relationships not working out so they are afraid that history will repeat itself. Another reason is he may be into you but not enough to date you”

Male 3, Age 22 – “Well there is a difference between when a girl is having a good time with friends drinking compared to being like super messed up. I don’t find that attractive because its just messy.”

Male 4, Age 22 –Being unsupportive is big. Cause if I’m afraid every time I open my mouth to say something [because] a girl’s going to spend the next hour sh*tting on me, I would rather not say anything. Also actively hating dogs, being embarrassingly awful to people. Oh being a social justice warrior. Being rude to my friends or family for no reason or too early in our relationship for no reason. Being a Cowboys, Eagles, Redskins, Miss State, Alabama, or Patriots fan or someone who doesn’t think Crosby is a douche.”

Male 5, Age 21 – “Well you can’t date a girl that’s f**ked your friends”

Male 6, Age 20 – I hate when girls don’t know what they want to eat. I also don’t like how women lie so much but cry about honesty. Or when ya’ll not hungry but still eat our food when we asked do you want anything.”

Male 7, Age 20 – “One thing I find difficult to get over…is a girl that never knows what she wants to do. Like I’d ask where she wanted to go to dinner or if there was anything she wanted to do with me and the answer would always be ‘I don’t know’, and like I know its expected for the guy to plan stuff or whatever, but having confidence to make your input known is pretty cool. I guess it kind of leads back to the confidence thing. I can’t stand girls who can’t make decisions about simple activities.

Male 8, Age 21 – “I think confidence has a lot to do with it. Just confident looking, so smiling, clean enough looking (not sloppy), and then from there it’s kinda guy’s types”

Male 9, Age 21 – “I personally am not attracted to a girl that makes herself too available. Half the fun is the chase”

I would shout EUREKA! but I’m alone at my computer typing this so that would just be weird. I guess one thing we can boil all this down to is that there really is no single reason why boys aren’t attracted to you. But hey, absorb all the info for what it is folks, these boys had to use a lot of brain power to come up with it.

From me for you,

Julie

30 Things You Should Do Before You Graduate College

I’m now just a short few weeks away from entering my senior year of college. So as you can guess I’m feeling a mixture of excitement/sadness/fear/exhaustion/celebration/anxiety/everything all at once. But in order to prepare myself for this year, and looking back on all the ~wisdom~ I’ve gained now that I am the top of the food chain (lol, more like I’m washed up), I decided to make this list for all of you so that we can all be prepared to experience everything possible in this last short year of school.

  1. Eat at restaurants in your town that you never have before.
  2. Attend a workout class.
  3. Join a random club.
  4. Study somewhere you usually don’t.
  5. Skip an entire day of classes just because.
  6. Go to a sporting event you’ve never gone to.
  7. Have lunch with your favorite professor.
  8. Institute Wine Wednesdays.
  9. Eat that thing in the dining hall that you never eat.
  10. Look through the books in the library for fun and not because you have to.
  11. Got to your campus’s art museum.
  12. Live in a single room.
  13. Go streaking.
  14. Vlog a regular day in your life.
  15. Go to your professor’s office hours.
  16. Take a class outside of your major.
  17. Kiss someone you’ve always wanted to kiss.
  18. Go out on a night when you’d rather stay in.
  19. Pull an all-nighter sans studying.
  20. Talk to someone that you never have.
  21. Go on a week long bender.
  22. Do that thing on your campus that you know you’re not supposed to do. (Every school has one).
  23. Walk around the town on a nice day.
  24. Tell that person you hate that you hate them.
  25. Buy yourself a giant sweatshirt or tshirt so that it’ll still fit when you’re old and fat.
  26. Sit in the dining hall for an entire day.
  27. Order takeout from all your favorite restaurants on the same night.
  28. Do something only townies do.
  29. Do a bar crawl with your best friends.
  30. Burn all of your books, homework, exams, etc.

Might as well get started now.

From me for you,

Julie

Could I Be Any More Bleak?

The other day I got the urge to write this down. Sometimes my creative juices just flow out of me unexpectedly (~just writer things~) and I’m not sure where they come from or what they mean. When I finished writing this poem and read it back through, my initial reaction was Damn, this sh*t is dark af.

The inspiration sort of just came to me as I was doodling in a notebook. My pen wasn’t working, and of course this annoyed me since I had already dried up two whole pens in the past few weeks. So I got this line in my head “I can’t keep a pen alive”, and from there it just poured out. Normally I wouldn’t share this with the world but I kind of like the way it turned out (especially since I wrote it so quickly and since its sans edits).

So take a moment and give it a read (and then absorb how dramatic and bleak I am and try not to criticize me for it):

I can’t keep a pen alive
Because my hand can’t help but strangle it until blood pours out of its head
and onto my notebook.
Where it lands in loops and curls of
things inside of me that I didn’t even know were there.
Pain I thought I had dissected,
Memories I thought I had cured,
Worries I thought I had buried.
But they must still survive somewhere
deep down in the crevices of my veins,
because they keep clawing their way out of my fingertips;
infecting my pen as it coughs out words that it doesn’t even understand,
scraping and screeching over rough paper
as it divulges my inner cancers.
And it drips and drips the virus until it bleeds out,
it’s life-force spilled on the page in front of my eyes.
But as I look down at the now deceased form,
I can’t help but toss it away,
and think of the new one I’ll murder the next day.

Yeaaaahhhhh, I’m just as disturbed as you are.

From me for you,

Julie

I’m like Middle-Age Hot.

I’ve recently had this sort of epiphany about the way people look. Basically I’ve realized that as a person progressively gets older they get more and more attractive for their age group regardless of if they were attractive when they were younger.

Okay let me explain: If you’re in high school and you look like I did in high school (aka giant hips, big butt, slightly overweight, small boobs) you probably hate your life. Because high school is filled with teeny, tiny little girls who have barely gotten into their adult bodies, and short, tween looking boys who are not even close to fully developed (mentally and physically); so when you have the body of a housewife with two-children, you don’t at all feel like you belong. But then this glorious thing happens and you go to college and everyone starts getting a little extra chunky and the boys finally get taller and expectations get a little bit lower, and suddenly you’re hot! Well like not that hot, but like more attractive than you were in high school. But the struggle isn’t over yet for girls like me because college is still home to the ~genetically gifted~ that will make you feel not-so worthy. But still you’re improving, you’re becoming the kind of hot associated with the *shrugs* “Yeah she’s pretty hot, I could be into it” but not the “Oh my god she’s so hot, she’s my dream girl, I would never be good enough for her”. That my friends, is the definition of middle-age hot.

It wasn’t until the past year or so that I realized that I was middle-age hot. Middle-age hot is like if you look at your body right now, and imagine how you would look if you had that same body at the age of 37. Hell yeah!! You’re hot af! Because as we get older people get bigger and softer and wrinklier and other people who are 37 start not minding all that extra chunk because they’ve got their own extra chunk to deal with. So suddenly the expectation of being hot is lowered significantly in each stage of life to the point where people who were never hot are suddenly super hot! So if us middle-age hot people can maintain our bodies until we’re actually middle-aged then for the first time in our whole lives we’ll just be normal hot.

It’s not just girls who deal with this phenomenon. I’ve noticed for myself that as I’ve reached the ripe old age of 21 (lol) my expectations on what’s attractive and what isn’t have changed significantly. Like don’t get me wrong, send a boy with a body like Zac Efron my way and I surely will not be disappointed, but send me a guy who looks like 30 year old slightly balding man, who wears khaki’s, hasn’t worked out in a year, and appears to be financially stable and lord bless I’ll probably wanna marry you!!

So yeah, being middle-age hot at 21 years old may not sound like the greatest thing in the world. But hey, as the years go by the people like me will just keep getting hotter while all the normal hot people have already peaked 😉

In the meantime, I may just need to start dating 30 year old divorcees.

From me for you,

Julie

 

I Almost Got Arrested in a Portuguese Airport

To give this story some background info: I studied/lived in Spain last Fall semester. (I’m super ~cultured~ now as you can probably tell). However, my abroad experience was not all sunshine and roses, and this is mainly because I’m actually pretty stupid and honestly NOT that well traveled or cultured at all.

So let’s dive into things here.

My friends and I planned a few trips to go on while in Europe, one of them being to Lisbon, Portugal. Believe it or not, finding transportation to Portugal from Salamanca is not as easy as one would think. After a ton of planning we decided to take a bus (for 9 hours) to get to Lisbon and then take a plane home (this plan was cheaper and more convenient in terms of timing). Now, taking a bus across country borders in Europe is not at all like flying from an airport. There’s no security, no baggage checks, no metal detectors, they don’t even check your passport when you enter the country……

So as I was packing to go to Lisbon I decided that it would be a good idea to take a bottle of tequila that we had bought from another trip (but never opened) with me so that we could drink it while we were there (totally not a problem right? …WRONG). I packed it away, deep down in my suitcase, and went on to my travels to Portugal.

After one very long and horrible bus ride surrounded by smelly people and sketchy bus stops, we finally arrive! The weekend happened so quickly it’s almost a blur. One second we’re in Portugal and the next second we’re rushing to pack all of our things to go to the airport (I never even got the chance to fully unpacked my suitcase). So as I’m packing I realize how stupid I was to have brought my full-size toothpaste and contact solution because I wasn’t going to be able to take them on the plane with me back to Spain (this hadn’t occurred to be at all when packing for the bus because liquids are allowed in any quantities on there). So I very angrily throw away my too-big toiletries, empty out my water bottle, pack everything, and head to the airport.

Of course, once you get to the airport you have to go through security. So I’m standing there with my shoes off waiting for my bag to go through the little machine, and as it comes out the big, scary airport man pulls it aside and motions for me to come over. *Cue internal screaming*.

He asks me if I want to speak in English and I say yes and he says “You have something in your bag?” in his thick Portuguese accent.

I respond “Not that I know of” as I’m trying not to sweat profusely or look guilty in any way because I’m literally standing there completely confused as to what he could possibly be talking about. He then tells me that there’s a “container or bottle” in my bag and asks if I know what it is. I give him a confused look and tell him that I have a plastic water bottle in my bag but that it’s empty. He responds by shaking his head no to tell me that this isn’t true. So now I’m even more confused (and panicked!!!!).

He asks me to open my bag so I do and I pull out the water bottle and say “This?”. He shakes his head again and then begins to dig through my bag. My friends are all standing off to the side, looking as if they want to kill me for holding them up, and suddenly the big, scary airport man pulls out of my bag the UNOPENED BOTTLE OF TEQUILA. My jaw literally dropped. We’d never had the chance to drink it while we were there and since I never unpacked my bag I had completely forgotten that it was inside!!!

So now I have to stand there and convince this foreign man that I was not at all trying to smuggle alcohol across the Portuguese border. I explained to him how I had brought it there on the bus and had never drank it and had forgotten I even had it with me. He seemed like he kind of believed me but was still continuing to examine my entire bag and scan my hands with some sort of thing that they probably use to make sure I’m not casually making bombs in my off-time. I repeatedly tell him that I don’t even want the bottle and that he can take it if he needs to and blah blah blah as I ramble on and on and he asks me question after question. To my advantage, since the bottle wasn’t opened he was way less suspicious that I had used the alcohol to do anything weird (or threatening) and it made my story of forgetting about it seem much more believable (even though it was the truth!!). Once he had his fill of intimidating me, he said he needed to confiscate the bottle. I told him he could 100% take it and he made some kind of joke about how he wished he could keep it for himself and have a good night *cue fake and uncomfortable laughing as I try to calm down and be friendly with the scary man*.

He then sent me on my way with my suitcase just a little lighter and less alcoholic, and I practically ran to my friends who literally would not stop making fun of how stupid I was.

So yeah I almost got arrested in a Portuguese airport, but yaknow what’s even more tragic? I fact that I wasted an entire bottle of tequila.

To bring this story full circle here’s an actual picture of me in the airport directly after this event happened:

download (4).jpg

Don’t I look so happy?????

From me for you,

Julie

 

How To Become a Lipstick Guru Like Kylie Jenner

I only dove into the world of lipstick around a year ago now so I am by no means an expert. I have found that shopping for lipstick is actually soooooo hard because picking the right shade for your skin can sometimes be near impossible. Sure you can put it on your hand and hope for the best, but once it’s actually on your face it sometimes looks completely different. However after a bit of trial and error I’ve learned a few tips and tricks that help me achieve the best color for my lips and now I’m going to share it here for you.

So here we go, the answer to all your lipstick questions is………..

MIX YOUR OWN COLORS!

I bet that was pretty anti-climatic for some of the beauty inclined people out there, but this is something I never thought of doing before recently. A few months ago I bought a lip shade that I thought was going to be my ~perfect nude~ (the eternal struggle), but alas it was way way too light for my skin and could never be worn as is. But of course like the hoarder I am, I still put it in my makeup organizer and dreamed of the day where I might need to use it.

Well fast forward a few months later and I get this idea in my head. What if I take some of my not so favorable lipstick color purchases and mix them together to create a color I actually like?! Brain blast!!!! (All you Jimmy Neutron fans better appreciate that). So for me, pink colors are just not my thing. I don’t know what it is but bright pinks just make my eyes cringe when I see them on my face. So, I dug around and found that old, too-light nude color and, along with my bright pink, started dabbing the two colors on my lips and then rubbing them together to make this nice calm nude-y pink color. Much, much more my speed. I started doing this with other lipsticks more and more and began to noticed that almost every time I mixed colors together myself I would be approached by someone asking me what color my lipstick was and where they could get it. *Cue my beauty guru self flipping her hair in the wind as she proclaims that she mixed the color herself*.

It’s now gotten to the point where I rarely ever just wear a color as it is. So my suggestion to you all is to find a light nude/dark nude that you would never wear by itself and start experimenting. You never know, one day you might have a billion dollar makeup company.

From me for you,

Julie

LEAVE ED SHEERAN ALONE

Any of my Game of Thrones fans out there probably know that in the season premiere Ed Sheeran made a nice little cameo appearance. For me this was huge. I was just casually sitting on my couch watching my Arya gallop along to go get her much deserve revenge on every horrible person who killed her family and suddenly I hear the sweet sound of a redheaded man singing.

Of course when they showed that it was Ed Sheeran I screamed at my tv “IS THAT ED SHEERAN!” while watching in adoration for the next 5 minutes of his screen time. (I am especially obsessed with him right now because I just saw him in concert in Philly and it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed in my lifeso that should also explain this post)

Anyway, apparently my excited reaction was not the reaction of most GoT fans, who subsequently went on to badger and abuse poor Ed on twitter about his presence on the show to the point that he DELETED HIS ENTIRE TWITTER ACCOUNT.

Excuse me people but were we not taught that cyber-bullying is not okay?! He’s just an innocent man who wanted to pretend he lives in the GoT world for a few minutes and ya’ll can’t even let him enjoy it!! And yaknow what, I’m pretty sure that if any of YOU were given the opportunity to be in the show YOU WOULD TOO and you would hope that a bunch of people wouldn’t comment about how it ~broke them out of the fantasy world they were so entrenched in~.

(……….are you serious, be a just a little more GoT snobby pls it’s not hurting my brain or anything)

He literally spoke like three, two-word lines and it offended you all so much that you needed to break his spirit and stop all of us good people from seeing updates about his life?!!?

I mean he already doesn’t post on Instagram or even have a phone, and now you want to remove him from the whole social media world altogether?!

(I must also say that I read an article about this twitter deletion where the girl writing it said that she doesn’t like his music, but that his most recent album showed a lot of “potential” and “some talent”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The most famous male artist in the entire world only has POTENTIAL. Let’s ignore all the awards he’s won and countless albums he’s sold because “Alexa” doesn’t think he has any talent. Lord bless. (Sorry “Alexa” but I think you need to use your brain before you post on the internet anymore.)

So you know what, after all of this I’m going to channel my inner Chris Crocker and say LEAVE ED SHEERAN ALONE !!!! (Sorry Britney but today just isn’t your day)

From me for you,

Julie

*The dramatics were for special effect*

THE WORST MORNING OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

Buckle in and prepare for this roller coaster ride:

So the other day I had probably the worst morning of my entire life. However, the day began with a very positive outlook because it was my first day interning in the marketing department and they were going to take me on a trip to interview some people for a story blah blah blah work things. Anyway, I was super excited because marketing is potentially what I want to spend my life doing, so this opportunity was huge and I wanted it to go perfectly.

ANYWAY, I of course put on my best outfit so that I can look all professional and business-y and such, and people will take me seriously. The outfit consisted of a shirt and pencil skirt. Now as most pencil skirts are, it was form fitting but not overly tight; I was comfortable and it went on easily so there was absolutely no thought of worry in my mind (hindsight….).

So I get to work and the clock tics to 8:30 and it’s time for me to go to the marketing department which is in a different building from the one I’m usually in. So as I’m getting into the car to drive to the other building I go to sit down and feel my entire skirt rip right up the back. Like the entire seam that was holding my skirt together fully ripped from bottom to top. So I try not to panic and get up and look and MY ENTIRE BUTT IS OUT.  Like full on cheeks sticking out between the gap in my skirt and I have nothing on underneath except my underwear and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop everyone I come in contact with from seeing my butt!! *cue panic mode here*

Now of course I can’t go to my meeting like this unless I want to be fired for sexual harassment and indecent exposure. So I whip out of the parking lot and panic drive to my house. Obviously I’m going to be late for my meeting (which is totally not a good first impression but I’m pretty sure butt exposure is worse so…..), I get word to the marketing people that I’m going to be late because of a “wardrobe malfunction”, and they proceed to tell me that I can just meet them at the place we were supposed to go to when I fix my issues. So now I’m racing home with my bare ass sitting on my car seat, all the while laughing at the fact that this just happened to me and mentally warning myself to stop eating cookies so that my butt won’t bust out of things anymore!

When I get home I frantically throw on a pair of black pants and a white shirt and then get back in my car to drive to where I’m supposed to be. I’m finally calming down and getting over my mortification, and then realize that in all this chaos I hadn’t drank any of my coffee from that morning, which was still sitting in the cup holder beside me. So I pick up the cup and go to drink it and SPILL COFFEE DOWN MY WHITE SHIRT.

YES, THE SAME WHITE SHIRT THAT I JUST CHANGED INTO 10 MINUTES BEFORE.

So now I’m too far away from my house to go back and change, and I don’t want to risk being any more late than I already am, so I start mentally going over what my options are. Now, if this was a normal morning I would just go into work and go straight to the bathroom and clean it off as best I could, but in this instance I was going straight to a guided tour that was already in progress, in a place where I have no clue where the bathrooms are, so I basically have no option to clean myself when I get there.

In this moment a light bulb appears above my head and I remember that I have my water bottle with me and that I can use it to try to clean my shirt. As I go to grab it, I then continue to remember that the water bottle is empty because I had dumped it out that morning so that it wouldn’t spill in my bag *cue annoyed face here*. SO NOW I have approximately only a half tablespoon of water in the bottom of my bottle that I can use to clean the coffee off my shirt before meeting with a bunch of important corporate people! KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM STILL DRIVING AS ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING.

So I get the water and I cautiously pour the teeniest bit onto my shirt. The stain appears to be blending in better, so I put the rest of the water on the stain that’s lower down. I can see that the coffee is still there, but it’s significantly better than it was, and is faded to the point where no one else should notice, but I’m also out of water so there isn’t much else I can do.

So crisis finally over right?

WRONG.

As I’m finally only a few minutes away from my destination I rub my eye and MY CONTACT FALLS OUT OF MY EYE AND ONTO MY LAP. So now I am driving around HALF BLIND as I attempt to put my contact back in. The A/C keeps blowing it off of my finger and every time I managed to get it in my eye, it falls back out. So I eventually have to pull over and put it in so that I won’t kill all the people around me or poke my own eyeball out. After my contact is in I drive off but I can tell that it doesn’t feel right. Because it’s inside out……… of course. I drive with the discomfort for awhile and then finally pull into the parking lot of my destination and take my contact out, invert it, and put it back in my eye before sprinting into the building to find out where everyone is.

I then awkwardly joined the already-in-progress tour with a look of shame and proceed to spend the rest of my morning trying to not look like a psychopath. Luckily, no one saw the coffee on my shirt and my eye ball didn’t fall out from car germs so the rest of the day was a success by comparison.

But don’t cry for me, cry for my skirt.

From me for you,

Julie

PSA: Keep a pair of clothes handy in your car in case your pants rip up the back.

Why Girls Aren’t Attracted to You.

As I begin to write this post I feel like I have to note that I’m making a very generalized statement that may not be true for all women/situations out there but even still I’ve noticed it so I’m going to say it. Continue on with your reading:

Attraction is a very interesting topic. Psychologists have studied it for years and come up with all these weird reasons as to why some people appear more attractive to us than others. Some of this research shows that we’re naturally more attracted to people who look similar to us (hence that whole freaky thing where couples start to look more and more alike the longer they’re together). We’re also more attracted to faces that are not perfectly symmetrical (look up some pictures of celebrity’s with their faces as mirror images on both sides and it’ll disturb you fully). However my own super-academic-science-based research (lol) has led me to realize one more reason why women are attracted to certain men over others……and that is how financially stable you appear.

Let me tell you, if there’s one thing that makes a girl fall in love it’s a man’s ability to support her and her future children for the rest of her life. This isn’t even just like a thing I’ve made up in my head, it’s been studied. Women often look for financial stability as a more important factor in choosing a partner than physical fitness/good looks (do a Google search if you don’t believe me). But how exactly does a person appear financially stable?

I mean I think it’s probably a case by case situation, but to me it’s probably a factor of how much of a Dad you look like (I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I wrote that).

So let me explain a little further: Men who look good in business casual clothing automatically get an upgrade. I speak from true experience (aka on the days when my college has job recruiters on campus and all the guys are walking around in suits and all of my friends comment on how significantly more attractive they all look). But you don’t need to be walking around in a suit all the time to get people to be attracted to you, throw on a polo every once in awhile, or actually do your hair, or have basic personal hygiene, shave your beard (the shaving thing is actually really hard for me to say because I’m a big fan of beards but still).

Speaking from my own personal brain, a few months ago I was out to lunch and I noticed this table of men probably somewhere between 20-30, looking like they were on their lunch break in their button up shirts and semi-balding heads and some deep down instinctual part of me was like “Damn, those guys look like they could give me a nice 2.5-kid-white-picket-fence life”. There ya have it folks, proof.

However, appearing financially stable isn’t all to do with how you look, it also has a ton to do with your actions. Like do you have career goals, are you making an independent life for yourself, are you passing all of your classes, do you know how to save money, do you want to buy me a new car (lol) etc. etc. A lot of those kinds of things can be revealed in normal conversation and if you show that you have the ability to do those kinds of things (or simply that you’re not a loser with no aspirations in life) then you may just become more attractive to certain people.

This all probably seems pretty shallow to the majority of you reading this, or maybe just a little gold-digger-esque (….whoops), but hey it’s in our female instincts to look for these kinds of things, in the same way that men are more focused on physical attraction and how well a woman seems like she can take care of you when you’re sick (man-flu is a real epidemic people). So my best advice to you is to put on some khakis and a Dad hat and talk about how much you can’t wait to save for retirement and tada! you’ll find a girl who wants to stick around for the long haul (PSA: if you’re not looking long term then avoid these behaviors at all costs).

From me for you,

Julie

Don’t Talk to Me Unless You’re Hot AF

Now that you’ve clicked, let me explain: A few weeks ago a friend of mine texted in our group chat to tell us how annoyed she was that three “creepy men” came up to her on the street and asked if she needed help as she was hanging up posters as part of her job. Immediately my friends and I all jumped on to validate her point by exclaiming things like “How weird”, “Why do guys think it’s okay to just approach people like that”, “That’s soooooo creepy”, etc. Until suddenly one of us made a comment that our friend would not have been complaining and saying the guys were creepy if they’d been hot.

OH SH*T.

In a split second the epiphany settled over me. She was so right. Had any one of those guys walked up to one of us looking like Ryan Gosling ala The Notebook we would sure as hell have offered to let him help us (while subsequently proposing marriage and offering to have his first born son). But alas, the men that approached her that day, and that approach most women in everyday life, do not all look like Ryan Gosling. But that shouldn’t automatically qualify them as creepy, aggressive, perverts trying to hit on us.

Now hey, I wasn’t there so I don’t actually know how these men approached or what they really said (it could have been totally creepy) but when it comes down to it…..maybe they really just were trying to be nice and wanted to help. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I am for sure a culprit of thinking this way about guys. If I’m out and about and a guy who I’m not attracted to walks up and tries to talk to me my instant reaction is to be like “who does this guy think he is, he’s so creepy, blahblahblah *girls saying annoying stuff*”. It’s the classic “Sorry I have a boyfriend” situation, like mission get-this-guy-away-from-me-as-fast-as-possible-before-a-hotter-guy-sees-and-thinks-I’m-taken.

Frankly it’s a double standard, especially since there are sure as hell some creepy ass people out there who probably do look like Ryan Gosling that could easily walk up to you and steal your wallet or try to put their hands in your pants or just make you uncomfortable AF. Trust me, it happens.

So how do we allow ourselves to exempt hot people from being perverts trying to hit on us, but classify any average looking person as a creep?! At this rate we’ll probably all end up being the victims of armed robbery at the hands of a male-modeling agency.

So really, we should all be a little more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and talk to them before being repulsed and weirded-out by them. Maybe they’re just being friendly, maybe they don’t have anyone else to talk to, maybe they’re just trynna finesse their way into a free drink, maybe they’re bored, who the heck knows, but regardless give the guy a damn chance before ya lump him in with all the other creeps. Cause lets be honest, we’re all not that hot either so everybody probably looks at us and thinks we’re creepy too.

From me for you,

Julie

(PSA: though not mentioned, I do not think boys are exempt from doing this same thing to girls, you best believeeee it happens)