Now that you’ve clicked, let me explain: A few weeks ago a friend of mine texted in our group chat to tell us how annoyed she was that three “creepy men” came up to her on the street and asked if she needed help as she was hanging up posters as part of her job. Immediately my friends and I all jumped on to validate her point by exclaiming things like “How weird”, “Why do guys think it’s okay to just approach people like that”, “That’s soooooo creepy”, etc. Until suddenly one of us made a comment that our friend would not have been complaining and saying the guys were creepy if they’d been hot.
In a split second the epiphany settled over me. She was so right. Had any one of those guys walked up to one of us looking like Ryan Gosling ala The Notebook we would sure as hell have offered to let him help us (while subsequently proposing marriage and offering to have his first born son). But alas, the men that approached her that day, and that approach most women in everyday life, do not all look like Ryan Gosling. But that shouldn’t automatically qualify them as creepy, aggressive, perverts trying to hit on us.
Now hey, I wasn’t there so I don’t actually know how these men approached or what they really said (it could have been totally creepy) but when it comes down to it…..maybe they really just were trying to be nice and wanted to help. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing in the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I am for sure a culprit of thinking this way about guys. If I’m out and about and a guy who I’m not attracted to walks up and tries to talk to me my instant reaction is to be like “who does this guy think he is, he’s so creepy, blahblahblah *girls saying annoying stuff*”. It’s the classic “Sorry I have a boyfriend” situation, like mission get-this-guy-away-from-me-as-fast-as-possible-before-a-hotter-guy-sees-and-thinks-I’m-taken.
Frankly it’s a double standard, especially since there are sure as hell some creepy ass people out there who probably do look like Ryan Gosling that could easily walk up to you and steal your wallet or try to put their hands in your pants or just make you uncomfortable AF. Trust me, it happens.
So how do we allow ourselves to exempt hot people from being perverts trying to hit on us, but classify any average looking person as a creep?! At this rate we’ll probably all end up being the victims of armed robbery at the hands of a male-modeling agency.
So really, we should all be a little more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and talk to them before being repulsed and weirded-out by them. Maybe they’re just being friendly, maybe they don’t have anyone else to talk to, maybe they’re just trynna finesse their way into a free drink, maybe they’re bored, who the heck knows, but regardless give the guy a damn chance before ya lump him in with all the other creeps. Cause lets be honest, we’re all not that hot either so everybody probably looks at us and thinks we’re creepy too.
From me for you,
(PSA: though not mentioned, I do not think boys are exempt from doing this same thing to girls, you best believeeee it happens)